The Fishgrease Project
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The legacy Continues....
I present to you my lil' man Kayden L. Williams in live and living color
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2113515176
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Ran_dumb_ness
Something like normal (Ran.DUMB.ness)
Well now that I have moved on to a completely different side of the world (Southside Atlanta to Eastside Atlanta), I’m realizing that now is a better time than any to find me some new friends. Not saying that I have a vast multitude of partners at this moment but maybe this time I can put a little more thought into who I label as a friend.
No offense to y’all Eastside dwellers but AIN’T nothing on this side of I-285 convenient. Y’all got about 3 Publix grocery stores total. I had three within 2 miles of my Jonesboro apartment in the Southside. I know what’cha saying though, “If the Southside is all that- why don’t’cha move back then?” .Believe me when I tell you that I’m trying but until then I’m gonna do the Eastside shuffle and whatever other signs of acceptance that y’all folks here do.
I was watchin’ that old bootleg tribute hip hop show on TV last night and realized that Cindy Herron (from En Vogue) still has power over Nia Long. Ironically there were in the same place at the same time. Do you realize what would have happened had I been there in the flesh? I’d still be jacking off to the mental image of them both. Cindy looks d*mn good to be 44 years old. I’d lick her knock-kneeded. Nia was as classy and as elegant as ever. I’d lick her sideways and until she grew a hump on her back. Quiet as kept though- Dawn Robinson (from En Vogue) has always been fine as hell just don’t tell Cindy and Nia.
Nelly surprised me with his LL impersonation as did Black Thought (from The Roots) with his Big Daddy Kane routine.
Speaking of Big Daddy Kane, who knew he could still do those dance moves? Scoob & Scrap Lover had me wanting to get my old ass off the couch and twist a lil’ bit.
Who’d have ever thought that I foundt (yes FOUNDT) Spinderella to be sexy. Good thing she had that baby by Kenny Anderson or else she’d still be on my jock.
Did I mention that Nia Long was there? ** wipes drool from keyboard **
Dwele has a new album out today…hopefully one of you kind hearted people will bless me with a copy of it.
Katrina and Rita !!!! Those sound like two b*tches we had no business phuckin’ with anyway.
Anyone heard that Lil’ Wayne proposed to Trina (who I believe her real name is Katrina !!!) Run Weezy, run. The b*tch is a big bootied storm. She’s gonna flood your mind with bullsh*t and drown out your bank account.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Another invitation (sent from my vacation)
Monday, September 12, 2005
I'm still alive....
Thursday, September 01, 2005
RE: I've got gas....and other Ran.Dumb.Ness
Y’all are aware that it now cost more to GET to Six Flags than it does to actually get into Six Flags right?
- I am now taking donations for gas money.
- I will no longer be leaving pennies behind at the gas station for people who don’t have that extra $.03.
- I will no longer be tipping more than $1.00 regardless of the actual cost of the meal/service. If you work in customer service anything in anywhere be prepared to be very upset with me.
- I will no longer come to your house to get anything…put it in the mail or meet me ½ way. ( I know where ½ way is too because I’m using map quest to get it precisely right).
- To all the ladies vying for my affection please know that I don’t have 26” rims, nor does my ride have a navigation system or DVD players but I have ¾ of a tank of gas. That alone speaks of the magnitude of my wealth. I got gas b*tch and some good d*ck. Deal with it or get’cha ass back on the bus.
- I would donate money to the Hurricane Katrina relief efforts but I can’t even afford to drive to the bank to withdraw any money. Gas is $3.59 a gallon and I was gonna donate about $20 to the cause but the hell you say. ** renegotiates the selling of his soul to Satan for free gas, a wave cap and a 6 pack of vanilla coke **
- Did’ja know that there are sharks swimming through the streets of New Orleans in addition to alligators and other aquatic animals of prey?. I saw this on some exotic channel late last night on TV. I was bugged at the fact that people were standing on the rooftops of their flooded homes and there was a small school of 3-4 ft. sharks below them. That’s wild as f*ck. ** Makes a conscious effort to pay Georgia income tax next year...Forever I love Atlanta **
- Baby from Cash Money and Master P from No Limit reportedly lost all of their possessions in the flood. Good thing they got houses in Miami and what not.
- Do the people that were already homeless before the hurricane have any hope. All we hear about are those that lost homes.
- In my honest opinion…it’s not looting if you’re only stealing bread, sodas and other essential necessities. That’s called surviving. Looting is taking big screen televisions, microwaves, and other things that hold no means of assuring continued existence.
- We’re still hung up on 9/11, huh? Regardless of what happens people will always compare whatever U.S. disaster to 9/11. Not to sound all facetious but the 9/11 injured the SYMBOLISM of our nation where as Hurricane Katrina affected the Soul of our Nation. True indeed that both of these incidents killed numerous people but as we all know 9/11 could have been avoided to some degree where as an act of God can not be deterred or side tracked. Sorry if I seem a tad bit unsympathetic to September 11th but it’s been 4 years and it’s time to move on and deal with what’s before us. We can only blame the falling of the Twin Towers for so much and for so long…Sooner or later someone will say that if the towers were still up that the winds in the Gulf of Mexico wouldn’t have been strong enough to turn the tropical storm Katrina into a hurricane. (You know how people get with their conspiracy theories).
- People sure are strong these days..I saw a dude carrying 2 five gallon gas cans down the street this morning. WTF?
- Public Transportation cost will rise soon and immediately no doubt.
- Why is it cheaper for me to rent 3 days in a hotel room near my job than it is for me to spend money in gas to get TO MY JOB. WTF?
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Special invitation (update)
The event is now over....sorry that you missed out on the fun. Better luck next time.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Things you need my help to remember
Remember
... when everyone wanted a pet chimpanzee just because Michael Jackson had one. You know you wanted a Bubbles the chimp, don't even act.
... when R.Kelly quit R&B music to do gospel?
.... Latanya Brawley and the shame she brought to Al Sharpton.
.... Desiree Washington and the shame she brought to Mike Tyson. ** just for the record ladies...you come up to my house/room/whatever anytime after 11 pm expect for me to try to hit **
...when women thought that Wesley Snipes and Bobby Brown were cute?
... Wrestling was fun to watch.... I thought I was Jimmy "Supafly" Snooka.
... when everyone thought that the Troops sneaker brand was made by the KKK?
... when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes burnt down Andre Rison's house?
... when Freaky Tah of the Lost Boys got shot?
... when you thought Aaron Hall could sing?
... when Dudes used to sport finger waves in the early 90's? **hangs head in shame because I, too was part of this foolish crowd ***
... when Bad Boy put out good music?
... when Jackee Harry was one of the finest women on TV? ( I wanted to give it to her sum'n awful back in the late 80's)
...when TV actually had shows worth watching. (HEY but at least they brought back Boston Legal this season. Yay!!!!)
...when you first heard me call myself P*SSY PUMPER #1? LOL
... when Ryan Cameron left 103 and went on a rampage about how wack Frank Ski was back in 1995? ( Money sure changes a situation, huh?)
... when Jermaine threw that $1 million dollar party here in Atlanta (that flopped).
... When I could actually stick to one topic?
... when Applebees used to have good service/food?
... When Larry Davis was on the run from the cops? (google him if you don't know)
... Fred Tokars prosecution attorneys f*cked up the case by using very incredible witnesses. ( Keep in mind Tokars was already in prison for 3 life terms and then they go and try him for murder and f*ck up the case so bad that they had to opt for another life term because the jury wasn't convinced enough to give him the death penalty. ) The actually murderer was given a
very short jail sentence and put into the witness protection program.
... When T.I. was lil' Cliff?
... When Marvin Gaye got shot on April 1st, 1984. ( That was the first time I remember the black community morning a celebrity. I was 8 years old and hadn't the slightest clue who this man was. Because of my mother constant playing of the song, I knew the words to "Sexual Healing", but hey he didn't have boucing wet hair nor did he have a pet monkey, penny loafers and sparkling glove. At that time, how could he compare especially in the mind of a child to Mike Jackson? 21 years later, I'm posthumously his one of his greatest fans.
...When the Cosby Show went off the air?
... When that comedy skit show " Uptown Comedy Club" was on TV? It starred Paula Jai Parker, Flex, Biscuit (Now known to y'all as Tracy Morgan, Talent and others.
... when you slept with such and such...and though it was good as a mug fug...you're still in public denial about the fact that it ever went down?
...When you first read the FISHGREASE PROJECT (c)?
To all of you that know where Scar Tissue (tm) (THE FISHGREASE PROJECT 2.0) is located I happily ask that you frequent there more often being that it's not even a week old it's still in it rough stages of development.
Friday, August 12, 2005
10 Signs that you're gonna have a sh*tty day.
10 Signs of a sh*tty day.
1) I left my wallet at home.
2) Inside of said wallet was my badge to get into the building. I waited 10
minutes outside until someone could let me in.
3) No wallet equals no money. Thus I had to borrow money for my girl for
lunch.
4) Today is Payday. This is usually a happy day but being that it's also the
day that I pay my bills online and since I have no wallet- I can't do that
because I don't know my credit or check card numbers by heart.
5) My butt isn't sitting right in my chair because it misses the usual budge
of my wallet.
6) I wanted to mail a letter. The stamps are in my wallet.
7) I have to wait for a co-worker that I know to return to their desk, so
that I can borrow their badge to go to the restroom. Why? Because my badge
is in my wallet which I left at home.
8) I have no drivers license (because I have no wallet) and now I must drive
ever so cautious back home.
9) I just realized that even if I find stamps to mail the letter in #6, it's
still impossible to do that because the receipt that I wrote the ship to
address on is in my wallet.
10) No one has change for a $20 (which my girl let me borrow because I left
my wallet) and now I must suffer the greater portion of my day without
something to drink. We have filtered water but it taste like sh*t, which
probably wouldn't be all that bad considering I'm having a sh*tty day. Sh*t
plus sh*t should compliment one another rather well.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
THINGS THAT I HATE....
Cashiers askin’ me “Do you want a bag”…Like I really wanna walk out of Target with a STACK of towels in my arms. WTF?
Pedistrians that slow down and proceed to shuffle their feet once they know that you’ve stopped because they’re in the lil’ walking lane. If it wasn’t against the law to hit y’all- you’d be a breathin’ speed bump.
Fat/overweight People who think that 2 Big Macs and a diet coke is a nutritious diet.
People who don’t know the difference between being fat and being thick… A whole lot of y’all are FAT. If you have a ROLL of anything on your body-you can no longer deem yourself THICK. Accept yourself for what you are and get over it. There’s someone for everyone and if you don’t find ‘em…turn your fat ass around you could be standing in their way.
My loud co-workers who insist on putting their personal convo’s on speakerphone disrupting my quiet sanctum and inner peace.
50 Cent and the rest of the G(immick) Unit.
The Fishgrease Project ™. It’s not turning into the work of art that I so envision it to be. My mental thoughts and the appliance of those thoughts to the Internet don’t match up all that well.
Places that don’t accept check/debit cards. Y’all are really missing out on my business.
Target for making people think that Khaki and Red are acceptable matches for clothing outside of their store. Stop it, I say. Target is responsible for countless amounts of adults walking the streets lookin’ like a bottle of vanilla coke.
My nuts for itching at the most inopportune moments.
Bobby Brown for setting us back a bare minimum of 100 years….all the while entertaining me to no end.
Myself for allowing Bobby and Whitney to rule a portion of my life the way the do.
Reality TV in general. Will this sh*t ever end?
Nia Long for not recognizing the love that she’s forsaking by not coming my way.
LisaRaye for getting married next month. I just started having a crush on you and you go and do this sh*t. I wish y’all the merry f*ckingest best in your new life together. I really f*ckin’ do.
Toccara from ANTM for not getting a breast reduction. You look like you got two balled up midgets sitting on your chest.
All the Ex’s that didn’t want to swallow. (I’ve said this countless times on my blog and I’m not gonna quit until I see results from women as a whole).
Everyone that left me at home (in High School) when I didn’t have a car.
Everyone that wouldn’t let me crash @ their place when I was forced into homelessness in 1997. (I’d like to give a warm and special F*CK you to my pops for kickin’ me out, too.) I pray that nunay’all ever fall on hard times and look for me to come to your quick and speedy assistance…. Bottom line is you’ll be ass out depending on the boy.
That girl (A.R.T) for puttin’ that hickey on my neck in ’96 and f*ckin’ up my chances with that other broad.(H.J). Payback is a b*tch and that’s why yo cock cuffin’ ass got 4 kids at age 28. Now what?
Glenda Moise for having that d*mn Caribbean accent and making it very tough for the women in my life for about 2 years after that. Add to the fact that you looked like a cuter version of Aaliyah and that really made it tough. I’d have licked the heel off the back of your feet too…GOT DAYIMM, you was fine.
My boy Dre for making Renita Jones think that I was gay….All because yo ass wasn’t getting no p*ssy. Hee hee hell….Payback is a b*tch. That is why you got 5 kids….but I love you all the same my (cock blocking) n*gga.
All the women that wouldn’t let me hit simply because they saw the circumference and length of the “PUMPER” and thought I’d damage their stinkboxes. . (D*mn y’all petite ass broads) …I kid…I kid….LOL
Myself for not realizing my true worth and not fulfilling my destiny as a boy toy to older women.
Myself for not talking advantage of my age difference, worldly knowledge and other things in order to bed much younger (but legal) women.
Hot weather. Contrary to the general consensus of Atlanta, I am enjoying these almost 70 days of constant rain.
The fact that my d*ck tickles my leg when I walk. Every time I walk with a speeded pace- I have to fight the sudden urge to giggle out loud.
That most women will never get to experience Me.
That most of the women that have experienced me…will likely never experience me again.
My arrogant nature….(I’m kidding…that’s one of my strong points and major characteristics).
The fact that you will probably take ½ of this list as a joke .
The thought that Peter Jennings made a bigger contribution to society than John Johnson. This man created a black media empire. He got y’all NEGROES to read. How great is that.
They gave Russell Simmons another record label. To make matters worse, it’s being distributed by DEF JAM, the very label he helped created and later sold for $100 million. Can someone give a poor summamab*tch like myself a chance to upstart a label or two.
The people who destroyed Seneca Village to create Central Park. (Google Seneca Village and see the significance that it has to African American Culture).
People who still believe that you can only get cancer from smoking.
Ru San’s for not delivering.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Yo man ain't flyer dan me...(I'll show 'em how to stunt)
EYE'm gittin red-ee too git my ANGLISH SUE-T GAYME ON. DA' ness tyme y'all
cee mee Ima bee lookin' fly az a summamabitch.
Y'all kneed too cheque owt dat leenk.... It'z my knew fayvoritt blawg.
(for yall that need translation)
I'm getting ready to get my ENGLISH suit game on. The next time that you see me, I am going to looking really nice and well kept.
You need to check out the link. It's one of my favorite blogs.
( end of translation)